This Ordinary Life

Well, this entry is coming to you from Dusseldorf Airpot at the ridiculously early time of 5:30. Now that may seem early, but please not that I got up at 3:45. No mean feat for someone that for many years has not been an early riser.

Why am I up at this time? Simple, family... I have just spent the weekend with my parents who have retired to Germany. I get to see them and my grandmother (Omi in German) once every couple of months and am forever trying to find ways to get there cheaper and stay longer.

This includes trying different airlines (BA, Lufthansa and Air Berlin - Ryan Air is a no,no as it only flies to an airport miles away from anything in the boonies, I think it's actually located in Holland) and different flight times. Generally, I fly out from Heathrow around 7:30 on a Friday night and return on the 18:30 flight back on Sunday night.

However, this trip I decided to really mix it up. I got a very good deal with Air Berlin (£78, anything under £100 is good) leaving from London Stanstead (a big shed in the country that has become a 'flight factory'), whch is easily accessible from Liverpool Street Station just around the corner from my office. This flight went out early at 17:30 and returned to London Monday morning at 6:40 promising a full extra two nights with my parents.

Although I did get two extra nights with the folks, it did come at a cost...

1. Getting to Stanstead is an expensive pain in the arse (much like a poorly chosen "life partner"). I had no luck buying discount tickets from the web as all the codes I used to use have been cancelled and the Air Berlin "slight" discount portal mysteriously couldn't process my card (it wouldn't surprise me if I ended up booking 10 round trips!). So in the end I had to buy my tickets from the machine at full price (£25 return), surprise, surprise. Then came the pain of a the world's slowest "express" in existance train that is actually dirtier than some of the trains I took in South America.

2. Deutche Bahn employees are anal. I arrived in Dusseldorf in great time as I had been able to avoid Heatrow's congested airspace. Air Berlin is a great airline (see separate review to follow shortly) and the flight was very pleasant. Add to this the fact that my luggage was ready to collect within 10 min of getting off the plane and I was already starting to forget the sting of the Stanstead Express. That was until I got to the airport train station.

Now I used to always get €50 or €100 out from the ATM when arriving in Germany (these denominations are always only €50 notes for some reason, not very convenient for the recently arrived traveller). I did this for two reasons, one because of my bank, Nationwide, which is such a good bank for travelling that it will get its own blog entry, gives me a much better exchange rate than the currency exchange and two that it used to mean that I travelled on the train for free (Note that this was, in my opinion, the fault of Deutsche Bahn because none of their machines accept €50 notes nor any credit cards and the ticket counter was already closed by the time when I landed. I always intended to buy a ticket and had sufficient funds, but as all the shops at the airport are closed when I arrived and I therefore could never break the €50 and I can't help it that they are too backward to accept credit cards. Conductors on the train used to be sympathetic, but I guess the Bahn's privatisation has put an end to their humanity). Anyway, conscious that times have changed and not wanting any hassles (shops were open so the excuses I historically relied on weren't available), I took out €50 (given to me as a €50 note) with the intention of buying a ticket from the counter at the train station.

Although I had a tight connection, I was the first out of the the shuttle from the main terminal to the train station and b-lined it to the ticket counter. When I joined the queue, I noticed that there were two counters, one for "tickets and information" and the other for "information only". Both were attended although only the ticket selling one had a queue. Although there was only one passenger ahead of me, but I could already sense trouble. You can tell when people in the service industry really aren't bothered about people being in a hurry when they purposely shift into slow motion. Every question asked by the customer has to be answered with a question, long querrying of the computer and a follow on question to any colleague nearby. As the other "information only" counter was free and there was a second "tickets and information" counter unattended, I thought surely he would step up and start assisting as the queue continued to grow with obvious delays to those waiting to by a ticket. When I asked him if he could help, he responded with a broad smile and curt response of "I give information only." Boy, didn't he put me in my place, the little stinker...

Now being a "thinker" I realised that perhaps the nearby cashpoint could give me the €20s which the ticket machines would accepted. So I abandoned my place in the queue which had been leading me nowhere in favour of using a ticket machine.

Having had success at the cash machine and with a €20 note in hand, I sprinted to the machines designed to deliver convenience and efficiency. Would you be surprised that on this day all 4 available machines decided that €20 notes were also too rich for them and they would only accept €10 or smaller?

At the point of almost blowing a gasket and with only two minutes to spare until my train, I rushed back to the ticket counter queue. In good German style (actually this style has since been exported worldwide) I proceeded to mutter and compain about the decline of the German state and all that goes with it. Luckily there was a nice old guy ahead of me, who hadn't been put through the pain I had been, who took one look at me and asked "So what's the problem?". Within 30 second he'd changed my €20 into 2 x €10 and sent me on my way.

Of course, after buying my ticket and making the train (with 10 seconds to spare) no conductor checked my ticket. Aren't some things ironic?

3. After a great couple of day with my parents, it was time to catch my flight back. When I booked my flight, I decided not to worry about how to get back to the airport untilurn the night before, like all good travellers. I wish I would have done my homework as it ended up being another minor nightmare. A flight from Dusseldorf at 6:40 means getting up at 5:00. Not bad, I thought, well as part of the general trend of this trip, I thought wrong. The town my parents live in has a great direct train link to Dusseldorf that travels once an hour at 29 min past. As this takes 37 min to get me to the airport the 5:29 train wouldn't get me there until 6:10 and in this ages of anal strictness by check-in, there was now way I was going to risk being at the airport for a European flight less than 30 min before departure. So, I set my alarm for 3:45 to enable me to get a cab to the train station in time for the 4:29 to the airport.

Steps one (getting up) and two (catch cab to the train station went like clock work). I got to the station with plenty of time to even buy and stamp my ticket. Then came the snag, as when I checked the train timetable there didn't seem to be a 4:29 to Dusseldorf! I had trusted too much in German efficiency and was now stuck at the train station with a valid ticket and no train to catch. The next train was the 5:29...

To cut a long story short, I resolved the situation by throwing money at it. Dusseldorf is actually only a 30 min cab ride from Gelsenkirchen, so a half hour later and €50 lighter I was at the airport.

Moral of the whole big long-winded story is simple, always research travel connections well ahead of time to avoid overlooking important information, it sucks to get up at 3:45 and make a lot of money in life because rich people travel better...

Next time, I'll try the flights from Gatwick. See if that works any better...