Finding clarity
The following is an amalgamation of emotional thought. It is not a representation of my current state but rather an attempt at an emotional purge. I liken it to what opera singers do to train their voices.
It's interesting how in a city full of people you can be lonely. People are all around you, but they neither notice nor register your presence. All it would take to break the loneliness is a comment or awknowlegement of your existence. A smile, bump or gaze would be sufficient to make you feel that the veil of invisibility has been lifted.
It's a strange sensation to go from warmth to coldness within the span of moments. This is my life at present, a pendulum of emotion and sensation. I am no longer aware of how I should feel or even how I expect myself to feel.
It's like living in a fairytale where purpose has been lost and replaced with an uncertainty. Why am I here and what expectations do I apply to my interactions. I work, socialise, train, toil, think, ponder and expect, but what for?
This is among the many questions I am to answer during my trekking in India. Hours of wandering up mountains at high altitude will give me a clarity that is rarely reproduced in the urban jungle of London. I look forward to achieving emotional enlightenment.