Welcome to the US of @ss!
I am writing to you from Phoenix Airport three-quarters the way through my trip to the USA. This is a mostly business, somewhat pleasure trip and I was really looking forward to it. To be honest, I have really enjoyed myself staying at a 5 star resort, the Fairmont Princess Scottsdale, drinking heavily most nights and even crashing Cindy Crawford’s husband’s, Rande Gerber, launch party of his bar, Stone Rose. I enjoyed 400kms of the Arizona desert on my bicycle and even took advantage of a really inexpensive full service to top.
However, during this stay I also became sentiently aware of something else… the USA is no longer the “Land of Opportunity” rather it’s now the “Land of Opportunists.” Perhaps I wasn’t as conscious of it on prior trips or maybe it is the result of an aggregation of similar experiences of the year… whatever it is, this time I really was aware of it.
Let’s start with my hotel… Room was quoted to cost $227, but once you added up the local taxes and other charges the actually price was more like $260. Why can’t they just say the price s $260 and be done with it? Actually, why don’t they make all prices inclusive of tax instead of tricking you with low prices that end up being 5-10% more expensive at the till?
Next was my service… I took it to a really cool place called the Bicycle Ranch and splashed out on the £199.99 Professional Service. This was to entail total emersion in a solvent bath, full replacement of cabling, etc. When I returned to pick it up, the price was suddenly $249.00. Turns out the tried to charge me for everything that was supposed to be “included”. They saw and opportunity and had to try to pull one over on me. I had to then wait 10 minutes while he manually removed each item. When I got the bike home, I notice that some bits were still dirty. Did they even do the solvent bath?
Next comes the restaurant in the Fairmont called Bourbon Steak. The place is trying to be “uebercool” and another opportunity to fleece us was found. The waiter jabbered about the food for 20 minutes completely overselling everything, the food took an extra 30 minutes to arrive, everything had truffle oil this or truffle oil that and at the end they had the audacity to simply slap a 20% tip on the bill. Isn’t service optional?
Let’s take a moment to talk about food in the US as well. Another opportunity recognised and exploited… everything here is processed to high-hell. Nothing really tastes of anything either, so much for if it looks like food and smells like food… it’s not necessarily food!
Finally comes the airport… I am checking into US Airways when a woman comes up to me and says, “Has anyone told you about the $100 Mandatory Sports Equipment Charge?” Um, no, they didn’t nor did Expedia (a US internet travel agent)… Boom! I am $100 lighter and when I asked if my bicycle would get special treatment as a result of me paying the extra money… “No, we take no responsibility for the handling of your bicycle” This $100 fee happens to be on top of the resounding “No” I received from Expedia when I asked about changing my ticket from London to Manchester. Their website and my receipt both clearly stated that I could change my ticket for $100, but when I wanted to do this I was told that the airlines rules over-rode those of Expedia. Why even bother telling people rules, if they can’t even be relied upon?
It seems that everyone is looking for a piece of the action. I also now understand why the debt crisis is having such a deep impact here. It's because the entire economy functions by parasitically feeding of debt. Take away the access to debt and the whole system starves. I think I’ll call it "Parasitic Capitalism"… an economic system where the success of the system relies on its ability to convince people that the need things they don’t, want things they shouldn’t and that the things they have need to be replaced. America really has perfected this system, but sadly they have destroyed the soul of the country in the process…
Note – there are, of course, exceptions to what I have described above and I have many American friends who I love dearly. However, I firmly believe that the country is on the brink of a terminal cycle of decay. A real shame if it comes to that because it was founded on such noble principles... and outcast religious beliefs...
Well, apologies for my long silence. Yes, there have been good reasons for this, foreign trips, work commitments and drinking engagements. However, “This Ordinary Life” has not been forgotten and will now again receive the attention it deserves.